History of the Nexus.

Well, 31st of January, last day of the month. Time passes so quickly, it waits for no man. Soon, SPM will come.

And talking about the past, I suddenly feel it again. Nostalgia.

Somehow, nowadays, I feel less motivated to post anything about my musical life... It's deteriorating? I hope not.

It wasn't like this in the past. We never question, nor ask questions. We cared only to strive further and go beyond our previous levels. Now all is lost?

No, yet a bit of yes... Alas, indeed, if this is the fate.

Seek truth and answers.

Danse de la vie

I want to swing my body, dance like no one's watching.

I want to shake my hands, high into heaven's eye.

I want to stomp my feet, let all stones under me rumble.

I want to live my life, as if it was a never ending dance,

To keep up with the beat, to keep my thoughts and ideas sharpen,

Yet I want to enjoy the moment.

Dance with me, the dance of life!

执子之手，与子偕老

击鼓其镗，踊跃用兵。土国城漕，我独南行。

从孙子仲，平陈与宋。不我以归，忧心有忡。

爰居爰处？爰丧其马？于以求之？于林之下。

死生契阔，与子成说。执子之手，与子偕老。

于嗟阔兮，不我活兮。于嗟洵兮，不我信兮。

PS: I've gone insane writting this.

Thank-you for the music

Oh there I stood, thanking something for the workings of divine,
Frustration, frown, mysteriously reaching to the grand climax of the stave.
I stand here, humbled by this working of which a King will bow,
Yet not knowing the host of this magnificent dove shall clench in its hands so tightly.
Struggling, slowly, silently, Reaching out!
Yet it fails.
All tragedy, all lost? Not!
For not one will lose faith, as like the soul cannot be destroyed.
In pain, in limbo, the bird searches and finds not a place to go,
Travelling, seeking truth and answers.
Light, LIGHT!
There was ever purifying light! Seek guidance from it, saith a voice in the avian.
Floating, dancing, glorious light, Grand, powerful, magnificent light!
Guide this lives that seek you! For one is to thrust, one is to guide,
Needed are you, so you must fulfill! Seek it, savour it!
And all shall be answered, all shall be cleared, all shall be revealed, all shall know.
All shall be at peace, all shall be at peace with music.

We are called young for a reason.

Sorry to spoil any confidence in the readers, but this is regarding typical subjects, mostly problems faced by us teenagers. What then again am I trying to point out many flaws of the world?

Love - Love! I fail in it? I dare say NO! I am learning to love, and love all, hate none. Then skip to the point of the relationships of courtship. I'm no splashing cold water at you, but about 90% of the male-female relationships that started during early to late teen hood usually ends by college or university. Call me jealous you may, but that's a reason why eventually I gave up my part I may say, because I know it won't last, we are too young to know where our commitment lies.

But in this case, I also truly hope that those who pursue such an experience, I rejoice and laugh along with you, it is truly a moment in life. But cry in rejection I will prepare with you, and so must you. But alas, I yearn not for the future, rather, I want for the moment to slow.

Loving another soul beyond my blood? I must say, not yet!

Book of flashbacks.

This is something that everyone has, and yet, it can exist in so many ways, in anyway of the beholder. It's called memories. To some, it's like a computer folder, click and all the image and documents start popping up. To another group of less fortunate people, it's like a ghost haunting them whenever they are most vulnerable. To some, it's like albums of photos, whenever they think of their past experience, pictures start to appear.

To me, my memories of the past are like layers upon layers of books, stacked into shelves properly labelled. Call me an overly-organised person? And yet I am not. But when memories are concerned, I treasure them like diamonds from heaven. And now, as I flip through the book "School life" I suddenly picture my form 1 self walking upon the doorstep of my classroom. Silently sitting and observing "strangers" in my new environment. Now, this strangers are one of my closest group friends.

Turn to the pages of "Friends", I suddenly feel a strong hit on my head, too much things are coming back. But all this is a blessing, for I can say with much pride that I have a lot of friends and still expanding. What can I say? The friends I lost touch with in KL 6 years ago reconnected with me via facebook. What a moment in my life, and they still remember me when I had a gathering with them!

Turn to the page of "Love", I feel a sense of wonder. Love works in such simple yet powerful ways. So many types of love to think about. Sad and happy. I end here.

But often times, there are repetitions between the books. I don't mind, all are worth remembering.

Splinter flame.

My hope now is like the title. Spontaneous, bright and yet short lived. How many splinters do I have left? When will I finally get some firewood? I may have to wait.

It pains me to see ones of which are waiting to rejoin us stopped by barriers, yet, one could only ponder what does life take oneself?

And here I am, trying to accept all that has happen. Next year to look forward to? Barely one month has passed, so no point hoping.

I long to see "that" day come.

Fate?

Sometimes, man just can't question the things that happen to him, such a thing is called fate. Stay in Awe at this beauty? I am now. Reflections upon reflections to see through I must, layers over layers of the mistakes I make.

I know that this tiny heart of mine yearns to give affection. But my conscience knows better that it's too early, don't blame me from stopping, for I hurt too much to continue, go forth and thus forget me.

Hmmm, I need a deep breath.

But there is hope.~

Plan A plan B.

Plan A - Sin Houng comes back, 7th snare place filled, all goes as plan.

Plan B - Sin Houng doesn't come back, 7th snare place empty, 2 people eligible - Lianne, Jessica. Lianne? Size problem. Jessica? Fit, but need to switch. Lianne then comes to tenor. All is solved?

Nope. I prefer plan A, but most definitely we need to assume for the worst, so plan B is starting to over-power the situation. Sin Houng, please come back T_T.

Alas, do your best Jessica.

Complex stupidity.

I have a dream of being a philosopher if I can't be a musician. Why, I love interpreting anything that exist and make you think twice about the possibilities of the same object. Stupid? It's more complicated than you think.

Life, life, is a journey to the very end of a new beginning. Whether or not you life is worth the living, why not put it this way? If you prefer not to live your life this way, than what means of existence you you much prefer? It's hard to think another type of dimension of the definition of existence of which we understand now this very moment, could have been something very different if the Almighty intend it to be that way?

The question now instead lies upon the fact that this world is so corrupt that why are we still questioning about the misery? Of course it's miserable! No one wants to live in this world full of hatred and torment. But think of it again from a different angle. If not this, then what? It's hard to comprehend.

Why am I writing so much? Because I haven't finish my Chinese homework...

I'm just here to make music.

What is this? What is your reason to be here? This is the question that seems simple to answer, the 1st day I went into this society built on a rock, the band.

I answered flawlessly my intentions, my wishes, my ever lasting dream, to be an aspiring musician, to learn this magnificent creation that is able to rouse the fiercest storms and calm the wildest of beast. I wanted to learn music! I said to myself, that has always been my intention. I want to make friends, that was my secondary objective. Such beauty in this plan, to make music with my friends and be a humble agent of this beautiful art form, I couldn't have ask for more.

So now I challenge you readers, band members especially. I know that we are in one of the biggest torrents the band ever met so far, so now I ask you to remain strong! I challenge you to question yourself, why you joined the band in the first place. If you just wanted to enjoy the learning of this awe-inspiring art called music , then all else is not important. If you have other intentions, then the band isn't meant for you.

Let the energy of melodic sound waves overwhelm you, all else is not important.

Reality is in the eyes of the beholder.

Don't fan that non-existent fire I said to myself. Always a case of a rumour turned real? That is crap I tell you. Rumours aren't real, my readers.

Until I see it happen in real life, I will not let sites like facebook and twitter become evidence of this cow dung for me, and thrust me, neither should you.

Just have faith, what happens really depends on yourself, don't think yourself as insignificant, you play an important part of this whole existence.

Up until now, we still can move on. Just thrust us for one more year.

Writing the last chapter of our history.

Ever thought of those tragic stories of a once great kingdom where the Kings are just, the knights ever so valor, maidens ever so fair, everyone was happy UNTIL, slowly one by one each generation of the people became over-ridden by greed and selfishness, even Kings and Ministers turned on to one another. And slowly, wars started and corruption crawled slowly all over the land, and everyone has sided for their personal cause. Then the final living monarch tries his best of efforts to bring back order to the situation, but fails. Eventual, the kingdom falls to its ruins by the burden of its own people. Maybe you have heard it in many fantasy books or fantasy games. I've read a number of books with the same theme, where the kingdom's last pages of history always fail to be found, leaving the main characters puzzled over the reason of its downfall.

Why my sudden interest? Because I have a premonition that this is going to happen to me in real life. We've been through a lot, and I've been thinking, even myself is a filthy peasant that wants his own needs, not caring about others. Alas! It is always so cruel, this life. I am prepared to leave as a written story, soon to become history as the last pages of the book. This is it, the end, of no brighter beginnings nor less darker endings. But I shall remember this kingdom as the start of my dreams, and even after it falls, my dream will grow ever stronger! And so I move on with dignity and pride.

2nd day sickness.

Pressure. Pressure...

I feel like I have a brain damage... And yet I'm still here in front of the computer...

Nobody likes sickness. I want to get well soon.

Last of my worries? What present to buy, her birthday coming in one day...

I hate being sick...

Life on a Chariot.

Many things can be said about life. It can be described as a journey, a realization of reality, a great adventure, a great misfortune. Actually life isn't those things, those things are actually part of life. Life is everything possible on Earth. But nevertheless, there are many aspects.

Journey on chariot, try and you'll find it a very bumpy ride. Life IS like that. But for one, I can say this, I find mine pretty smooth. But I do not rest easy, because it could all be shattered like a thin plane of glass.

Why my great distress? My last year in School is this year, starting with tomorrow. This year, it's no more fun and play, it's my fate decider. I can't help but to imagine the possibility of failing. Help me, my will! I got full of hopes that are locked, and the only key would be the outcome of 2010.

Happy schooling days! (If only school was ever happy).

Start of the SPM war 2010 batch.

In 2 more days, school will re-open, and the SPM 2010 batch will begin their tormenting 300+ days of pressure build-up. As for the PMR 2010 batch, I'd say this, rest easy, PMR is actually very easy to survive, but SPM will determine your future by a significant degree.

Alas, 1 and a half months of rest is never enough, I feel like barely anything is achieved. But I can say this, things are improving, everything seems bright for a start.

As for band, all I say is this: The Power is Real, The Story is Forever, The Time is Now.

Hello 2010.

Say hello 2010. I know you are just like every other year, most of the years will remain the same, it is us humans who make it seem different every year. As for my year this year, SPM is the drive and theme of 2010 for me.

And so, my New Year resolution:
1) Finish above 80% of the homework given.
2) Study until my target is achieved.
3) Focus on music theory, no more fooling around.
4) Say as minimal foul words and vulgarities as possible.
5) Be nice, be kind, be humble to everyone.
6) Honour my parents.
7) Learn more about the Gospel.
8) Be a good showman for this year's marching band programme.
9) Stick to proper planning and scheduling, no more last minute works.
10) Pass Add. Maths with an A!!!

Happy New Year everybody!