Butterfingers, loose tongues, and absolute cluelessness.

Awkward. Basically awkward.

Awkward in the way I express interest.

How shall proceed? I seem to exist simply as a speck of sand in the vast ocean. How shall I stand out, when what I seek is akin to the pearl on the beach?

Alas, words stumble across my lips, causing a cacophony of sorts as I trip over each syllable unto the abyss of dialogue death.

Would that I could, I'd like more time, more opportunities, more natural occurrences... Just less a sense of needing to induce a happening.

Ah well, one can dream for now, one can hope. 

It's all vapour

Transient, temporal, momentary.
Words to capture that which cannot be captured.
Boundless wind, fleeting time;
Or vapour, as one sage of old inclined.

Such are the mysteries of this life,
that which we all are appointed to live;
Mine end seems far from now?
Nay, such notion is only for the proud.

I know of this one bird,
this dreadful sparrow once lovely.
Her ways upon the wind mystify me,
wings that took her far and long.

Yet now her time has quicken,
days darken, hearts frightened.
She speaks naught, only listens,
Eyes white with tears glistened.

And what wind carries her now?
But the wind of a macabre air.
Or perhaps it's simply vapour,
barely perceptible, yet all agree it's there.

So this is the enigma,
what gain to live as such?
To be at death's door and have all,
only for a moment more.

Such is life under the sun.

An impromptu update to no one.

Dear no one,

How has it been? I have approximately 10 minutes between now and the matters I have to attend to in 10 minutes.

Oh joy, was that a redundancy? No matter, forward I go regardless.

So you know how the pandemic has been wrecking quite the havoc in the past few months? Fortunate me still has job, how about that?

Well, things here in Malaysia seem to be a tense tight-rope walk. One moment and it seems we may fall off, only to sway back into a seemingly balanced position. What a state of mind to be in huh?

Oh, and there's the impending sense of the world descending to utter chaos right? US is a mess, China in duress, EU looks quite stressed, my crush looks cute in a dress... Whoops, there goes a Freudian slip. No matter, forward I go regardless.

So why am I in a whimsical mood, in spite of all the cacophony around me? I can't quite say. Perhaps it's a coping mechanism, or maybe I just like being ironic. One paints me a victim, while the other a douche. Who's to say? Not I, that's for sure.

Anyway, that's about it for now, perhaps we'll chat some time again, but probably not that soon.

Regards,

Zongxu

Tasted a sweetness and craved for more.

I was reckless with love;
tasted a sweetness and craved for more.
I was hopeless with hope;
wielded a power that left me sore.

That winding path I thought worthwhile,
has now betrayed me a dead-end;
That seductive edge of the waterfall,
has now drifted me to resent.

To think that I found comfort,
in contradictions I thought profound.
To see now the sure truth,
in paradoxes I now resound.

I was reckless with love;
tasted a sweetness and craved for more.
I now hope with hopefulness;
wielding this power unlike before.