March of fools.

Last day of March 2011. Which leads to April fools'.

Once again, I think of malice and mayhem that I want to do. Each year gets better and better, muahahaha~!

I'm already thinking of something. Something really juicy. Orange juice! With a twist that is (pardon the pun).

Maybe I'll do ye olde practical jokes, that will never get old. XD

And so as I move into the months fools, I just hope I don't get stuck there. So far I believe for the school goers, this month will be the peak of boredom. Good luck!

Jumping between lines.

So there I was jumping between lines, going forth, rocking back...

It was a whirlwind ride. Something that felt so right, and then so wrong again.

One moment came the fun, the next moment came the consequences.

Sure the lines are really thin, really fine, I could easily step between the two.

And if either side had a colour, one is black, the other grey?

Yes I really enjoyed the black, since the other was grey anyway, why bother? Both are corrupted anyway.

NO! Wrong is wrong, even when a little right is there, it helps...

Well... Temptation still abounds...

Don't try to understand this post, you will very likely fail to digest it down.

Stuffed to the nines at Sunway.

It's a loooooooong time since I felt that full, filled to the brim, the edge, all walls expanded in my stomach.

Met up with Justin last night in Sunway Pyramid. Scouting for food as usual, looking around and all. At first we thought we'd get some nice pizzas at Papa John's, but somehow it changed to seafood at maybe Manhattan Fish Market. But we saw Bubba Gump was around town so we switched. BUT, we eventually settled for an Italian pasta restaurant which I fail to remember the name... But it was decided by 2 flip of a coin...

The meal was lovely, the pasta was really really good (maybe because I rarely have pasta). The menu had only 2 pages of food. Call me being used to the typical Malaysian fusion cafes where their menus span to over 10 pages of seemingly elaborate food, so I was a wee bit uneasy with selecting from the list. I eventually settled for carbonara, and shared a tomato veggie soup and pizza with him.

Well, as long as the food's good, nothing else needs saying XD. After a brief walk around the mall scouting for Starbucks, we finally found it. Sat down for coffee, and soon we discussed about... What else? Band, its members and all (and a bit about college girls too)... Well, we're guys right, not to mention we both are yellow?

FlyFM had a competition finale right outside the orange atrium last night, so we went and had a look when we passed by. It's basically a lucky draw based competition with 200 initial participants. Names were drawn and they had to pick a key and try to open the door on stage. After an hour later, with 20 participants left, the door finally opened...

A Malay dude won (he nearly walked away from it, had the key-master not check), and he proposed to his girlfriend there and then. Prize money? RM60,000, and he intends to use it for a shopping spree, while Justin kept insisting he should have selected paying the house down-payment 1st.

With that done, it was already about 10pm plus. Headed back to Justin's place, waited for my dad to pick me up. So we watched some American Idol videos... Adam Lambert is beast! And soon I was home.

Back home, stuffed and unable to sleep that soon, went and Skyped someone, and since, she's been talking more. But...

I didn't just played her with words did I? Last night's conversation felt so, forbidden...

Late night thoughts.

It's midnight. If you count morning as later, then band practices are later. Thinking at this time of the day, is a very intriguing feeling.

Well, 3rd day in a row she fell asleep while texting. Must be tiring for her this few days. Hmmm, loneliness still fill the room I sleep in. And I think to myself, how long will this go on. I'm still young, too young... Doubts linger, every time, every night.

Yeah, life goes on, band goes on. Qing Ming period, so later's band attendance should be rather dull...

It's late, lest I want to be without energy later, off I go.

The visitor.

A day after the SPM results unveiling... Leaves much to be desired...

Well now I know my results and all, but I don't know where to go...

SO today I went to Intan Kopitiam, my ex-neighbourhood coffee shop for breakfast, then to Cosplay for a quick gaming session with Joshua... To say the least, it's for old time's sake...

Then went home... Green Green asked me to invite Rachel and her mum over for laksa. WHY ME???

Well since she asked, I invite...

3:00pm, knock on the door. I went and open... O_O She was right there in front of me.

SO yeah, showed my room and its untidiness to her... Spot check or surprise visit?...

Right then, a quick chat, and hand shake? o_O Then she's off. So now I'm here writting... -_-

School later, not too sure what I'd do with the sectionals. Benjamin probably gonna force me to help him teach Joey again. What ever it be, I guess it's better then staying home...

And I'm away~

SPM results

Woke up at 7:30am with a sweaty palm... NO, I was not anxious about the results, I'm afraid I would be late for the McDonalds Big Breakfast coupon offer. XD

So me, Jia Xun and Siew Wei went to McDonalds for the big breakfast offer this morning, just to make sure our stomachs are filled before going to get our results. RM5 spent and you get 2 big breakfast set!

So we went to school t about 9:40am. Siew Wei was a wee bit nervous, so as Jia Xun. I was also a bit, but I daresay I'm more composed than them. :x

10am and the school was filled with all the 2010 alumni. We were 1st given our graduation cert... I didn't get mine!!! I failed Chinese during form 5...

Well then came the main event... What the heck only 1 teacher is giving out the exam results... So it was a long line...

Waiting, waiting, waiting... My turn... Signed...

2A, 2B, 3C, 1D, 1E, 1G... That my friends, is what I learned in kindergarten, ABCDE...

Hmmm, I failed Chinese... And nearly got an A for Physics, instead I got B+... But apart from this 2 subjects, I'm pretty much happy with what I gotten.

SO I'd say thank goodness I pass most of the subjects and that I can finally proceed with a clearer picture on my future pursuits.

Bringing back military into the band?

Well if some of you noticed, I'm very obviously starting to use National Service training techniques in the band...

I personally don't intend to glorify or flaunt my NS experience but because I honestly believe that in a way some of their training techniques are effective, thus my want to try it out on the band.

Well if you think it is not suitable, hear my points 1st...

This IS after all a military band, its roots stem from the army system of bringing up disciplined members. Going through NS sort of knocked in some knowledge of how real military trains. In a way it relates to our current command system, footwork and all. Thus I'm just sort of trying to go back to roots, it is after all tradition?

I know maybe you'll not get used to more shouting from me, but well, see if I can work a little to get you all to be serious in line like we used to in the past... Main concern are the younger group...

SO yeah, do support, I'm not angry or trying to be angry, I just want a little shocker and lots of co-operation.

Taking on... THE WORLD.

In 2 days time, SPM results will be out. The thought of it scares some, some don't give a damn, some already predicted their results...

Well no matter what results you end up with, you'll continue life with moving on into independence...

So as I make my steps toward braving the world, I changed my blog theme, weee~ XD

But yeah, the world ain't pretty. I got a taste of it in NS, what type of people I'll meet and all.

And so, here I hath cometh!

Volatile is the word.

How are things going in life... I ask myself this every time I try to blog a post. It's been like this recently...

Leaving camp for a week to taste reality wasn't smooth sailing. I could only say that mentality is key to survival in this harsh world...

Trauma out of truth hurts deep and leaves big wounds... I have to say I'm starting to find my feet cold and heart lonesome. Call it a pity party for myself, something I never will have thought of doing 17 years past.

Alas conversations can run volatile. You always leave me wondering what is your true emotion and state when we talk... What is going through your head, I wonder, since you have yet to reply.

Where is life heading for me? I don't have the heart to read through undang, I don't have the heart to find my soul, I don't have the heart to look for a job, heck I don't have a heart to work out my future!

Insanity creeping in... Idleness is a killer... I need instructions, for I lack initiative. I knew of it since camp, and challenged myself to change. Who knew it would be so hard??

Words, can only describe so much of my plight... Somehow everyone has to get through this period in life...

I only dread, for one time in my life, that I'm not with family, believing that now I need them most... I yield in thoughts... Alas, alas...

Self-discovery.

Opening a new chapter in life isn't easy, but I need to move on anyway. Doubts come, fears come, stress comes...

Coming back National Service was small milestone for me. Now I will be spending the next 3 months or so in Sitiawan.

Many of you will question my decision. Let me explain, that the 1st of my priorities is getting my driver's license, which would be many times tougher if done in KL.

Then there's the self-discovery...

After 17 years thinking that I know myself very well, I start to doubt that confidence for one time in my life, that is now... Music, it wasn't always music that I wanted, only recently that I became serious about pursuing in this field.

But I don't feel good enough, I don't feel that I can do it, I doubt, I lose my confidence every time someone ask me just what makes me think that I can handle this career. Performance art isn't easy, and I've yet to reach that standard.

Then there's a technical field in music. I was thinking of finding a job working for Mr. Tan, that was my ideal working field for the next 3 months, hat is IF Mr. Tan has a job to offer... So that's another blur...

There is also my relationship... It's hard to describe this feeling, I'm looking for something and I thought I found it in my partner. Yet I feel a bit dislocated every time we're together, I don't feel myself yet. Love her? Yes. You sure? Yes. What makes you love her? Speechless... I do feel it, yes, but I'm searching for the purpose, that burning passion. So that's another reason I stay.

Self discovery... Leave me in my thoughts then, I'll search my soul and check my purpose.