Anti-climax.

Yes, I finally reach the anti-climax of the exam (for me that is, might be different for others). Why? Because all my weak subjects are over! YAY!!! Now left with the subjects that I'm comfortable with, that is English, Physics, Chemistry, Biology and General Maths. Don't say I'm showing off. I'm just being honest.

I'm much more relieve than before, and my usual mood is coming back, suddenly feel so full of life and hope XD.

And among all moods to come back to me, one of them is the band mood.

Although I won't be going anywhere near band before the exams are over, I already got a few things to write.

But maybe I'll just save it for next time instead. For now, I want to go full force with my remaining subjects.

So yup, ultimate relieve period is coming. Good luck for the remainder of the exams, and to the SPM candidates, it's our turn next year.

Rejecting my ethnic roots?

Tomorrow, I'll be sitting through the Chinese paper2 exams... Putting an end to nearly half of my burden...

But for now, apart from greatly worrying what will befall upon me tomorrow, I can't help but to rethink the many comments from my friends and families for failing to master my "mother tongue".

"You are a BANANA!!!"
"You as a Chinese, don't know how to speak or read Chinese, very shameful you know"
"China is becoming the dominant force in the near future, master Chinese and you'll flourish"
"Chinese is going to be very important next time"

This are a few examples of what is thrown at me by some relatives. I appreciate their concern, and truly understand that it's the unavoidable future, but I get very offended when they go too far...

"Next time English is going to be useless, Chinese is needed to survive because of China"
"You are going to lose out to all job interviews next time when they see you fail your Chinese"

I mean, come on, yes, I accepted the fact that China is booming, but, IT'S NOT THE ONLY FREAKIN' LANGUAGE LEFT!!! That is what I always shout to myself in my heart...

I know my capabilities. And I can be pretty sure I can't take it. Chinese is a highly challenging language, and apart from simple speech and writing, literature is everything else in Chinese. And for that matter, I've been losing out ever since form 1.

I am not rejecting my ethnic roots, I am proud to be a Chinese, and I am comfortable with my linguistic proficiency in Chinese. Although weak, but still I can communicate (Although with some difficulty) with my other friends who are much more proficient in the language.

But I am not here to shy away from the fact that my Chinese is below average, I know that I AM. But what can we do? There is always that weak link in every culture. I just happen to be one of them.

And for those who always push me to be better, I really know that you all are just trying to help me be better. But I really can't... I'm just not that language lover type, I'm a guy, and somehow, girls are more interested in this area of studies. I admit that I myself don't really fancy English studies as well, and other language for that matter.

I must say, that even though China is now a powerhouse in the economic scenario, I strongly believe that English will not leave so soon, and that is what I really hope for, if not, I won't have much to hope for anymore. I'm so sorry, my ancestors... T_T.

A sigh a regret.

What is that promise I made to myself the start of this year? Have I failed myself?

I told myself: Study hard, aim for the better of your studies. You have slither your way past too many risky bets on your results. 3 years of play is enough. Study... Study...

I stand now, at the brink of the year. End of 2009 is coming. I've broken too many promises. I failed to achieve too many targets this year. I do not want to fail another.

I want my will to study...

Study...

Study......

End of the World isn't far.

What does this image remind you of? Recycle... Did you recycle? Yes. What for? Because of?

Yes, this few days, I've been studying too much Biology chapter 9. Each sentence I read, I get more depressed by the facts and figures. In addition, after viewing Liying's blog, I was further motivated to write this post.

We can say all we like, and do all we must to stop torturing the Earth right? But bear in mind, the day the Earth will burn shall come soon. In this condition, the damage done to our Earth is nearly irreversible.

Those smart-asses of a government will NEVER, I say NEVER do a proper planning on future developments, Malaysia that is...

Recently, there is a report on the polar ice caps of the world, where Scientist have made a prediction that they will fully melt away and disappear from our Earth in as short as 20 YEARS!!!

This the condition of the ozone layer. It never got better since 1981. And I don't see any reason why it won't continue. The major contributor to the breaking down of the Ozone layer is due to CFC. Although nowadays, most air-conditioners and refrigerators do not use the gas anymore, many can products do. How does CFC break down the ozone layer?

Ozone gasses are actually a formation of a 3 oxygen molecule structure. The normal oxygen in the air is a 2 molecular structure, O2. By the chemical reactions as shown above, the O3 is broken down into O2 and a ClO molecules. Thus, the thinning of the ozone layer occurs.

Apart from that, we are microwaving ourselves with our super smart industries, who are emitting greenhouse gasses into the air. I am pretty sure many of you are familiar about the greenhouse effect. So far, we are unable to reduce the emission of it. Instead, greenhouse gasses are increasing steadily over, causing major climate changes. The most obvious change is the melting of the polar ice caps. In turn, the melted ice releases Methane gas, another greenhouse gas. The extra water that was resulted by the meltdown causes flash floods to occur in the lower landed countries. By 20 years time, if the Scientist's predictions are true, Malaysia may not exist anymore.
Lastly, here's the thought provoker: It is interesting to note many activists uses the message of "Save the Earth" as a way to spread the awareness. True, it is really serious, and we need to educate the public about it. BUT, I would like to put emphasis on the fact, that the Earth doesn't need saving. The Earth went through many punishments, surviving catastrophic meteor collision, surviving the freeze over of the Ice Age, surviving the many earth quakes and natural disasters to befall on it... What can we learn? The Earth still survived. All this occurrence is 10 fold of what we are doing now. So what am I trying to prove? This: after all this punishments the Earth went through, it is the things that live on it that suffer the most. Yes, I mean that we are not killing the Earth, but we are killing our species. Evolution will always be the key to live on Earth. It is only the species that cannot stand change and move on to evolve that will lose out in the evolutionary race. Being the pampered and sensitive lot we are, how long can we survive? That is the question.

Final Words.

Final words for? Final Exams of course.

For those who intend to tell me I should be studying now, I'll tell you this... One day before exam is meant for relaxation.

But come to think of it, I've relaxing much too long this year...

But too late for this. I don't call this this regret.

Alas, I still am worried. Just hope for it to end as fast as I am disillusioned.

Good Luck candidates! Wish you all a happy examination (Like that's ever gonna happen...)

Etudes of Life

I am standing on a cliff, two voices sing in my head.

Thus the first voice saith, Jump and all ye worries shall be forgotten;

Thus the second voice replied, Jump and all ye burdens shall double.

And I stand, as the etudes sing in my head.

For ones perfection lies in action, and in action exist this etudes.

But even etudes spare not the cruelty of decisions;

And so I chose what most will not, taking the minor of etudes, I shall embrace!

Depression Period

As the PMR candidates say bye-bye to all their worries, us upper forms are struggling with the building-up pressure, the finals are here...

Specifically 7 more days before the real start of the exam finals... But then, depressing feelings already have started...

And yet the 4SC student are already playing UNO... Sweet? That time of the year again... Depressing... As soon as it reaches the 4th of November, all my studying worries are gone, except for the SPBT woes... (I haven't wrap my text books until now -_-)...

Until than, I'll be studying... Bye for now... Blog deactivated.

Weekend, year-end...

Another year. Another year reaching an end just like that. I'm only 15 1/2 years old and I already feel zero-gravity in this time lapse.. Can't imagine what's coming up in the near future.

Exams, cause depression... I only complain that it must last 3 weeks.. Stupid 3 paper Science stream... ARGGHH!!!

PMR candidates, spend all your time now, enjoy it... I could only say my time has pass.

And so, good luck... The gloomiest time of the year starts next week.

Crazy biology report conclusion.

Subject: Endangered Ecosystem
Conclusion:
The Earth as we know it today is constantly under threat from Mr. Rajesh and his evil plan to take control over the world and maybe even the Star Wars Universe! With his nuclear weapons and technologies in his Iraq base, he intends to intoxicate all remaining clean water sources, forcing all humanity to submit into his evil Tinge brand drinking water product. Only the heroic Ngoo Jia Xun with his 3Rs power can defeat the evil Mr. Rajesh. Humanity's only hope is to locate him in the Ice Crown Glacier in one of Hawaii's volcanic region and to defrost him to revive him. But George W. Bush has sided with Mr. Rajesh and with his environmentally unfriendly political policies with Afghanistan, he will use the United States war machine and McDonalds' burger invasion strategy to corrupt all our rain forest, further forcing us to submit into his Hong Leong furniture brand. But US President Barrack Obama has sworn to find the ancient hero, stating: 'Apart from killing a fly and calling Kanye West a jackass, I myself am a environmentalist. And in saying so, I say, Change We Must! I will do my best to find this hero and ask him to endorse in my political campaign before asking him to save the Earth.' And so, the G-Force expedition team consisting of Guinea Pigs departed from hawaii to go on a tour in San Francisco, visit the Statue of Liberty, pay tribute to the 9-11 heroes in New York, pay a visit to Her Majesty the Queen of England, climb the Eiffel in Paris, take pictures in front of St. Basil's Church in Moscow, Russia, walk the Great Wall of China before landing back in Hawaii to find the mythical hero. When they arrive, they met up with Robinson Crusoe, who was enjoying some chicken drumsticks. But after futher inquiry, they found out that it wasn't chicken, it was Friday. Nevertheless, Robinson offered to lead the G-Force team to the sacred ice-berg. Floating above the lava on the valcano , the G-Force team quickly called reinforcement from their backup team 'GI.Joe' to help break the ice. The legendary hero blasted in the sky and shouted his catchphrase "Ma-Mo-Lik!!!" and flew to the Great Wall of China, took pictures at St. Basil's Church, Moscow, Russia, visit Her Majesty the Queen of England, Climb the Eiffel Tower, pay tribute to the 9-11 heroes, visit the Statue of Liberty before finally reaching the White House. After several photo sessions with Obama, they went on to war with Mr. Rajesh. But Mr. Rajesh unleashed his army of Decepticon army of Transformers upon them. When all hope was lost, Optimus Prime appeared out of nowhere and joined Barrack Obama. Nerds working for Obama went to unleash a wave of DotA heroes such as Troll Warlord and Invoker upon Mr. Rajesh's army. Even Robinson joined the fight, swinging Friday's bone at anybody he sees. at the climax of the battle, the nerd team activated the -WTF mode and all DotA heroes' skills and buffs have no cooldown! They pushed the Rajesh army to the last line until Ngoo Jia Xun could give the fatal blow on Mr. Rajesh's head. in the end, Mr. Rajesh revert back to his teaching duties and the world is saved. The hypothesis is accepted.

2 weeks.

2 weeks from what? Exams, finals!

Alas, so messed up am I right now... My band life? Not getting anywhere... Just concentrate on the Juniors... And I say, my biggest tackle is with time... Time and time again, I have grown. No more that small kid taking orders. Only months away from entering form 5.

They say form 4 is the Honeymoon Year. I lived out that year in between. Call me a study nerd? I wasn't. Call me a playful guy who doesn't care about his future? I got study. Ish! Now what? I don't know... Not sure how I'm going to pass this year's finals...

Love life? Is it even qualified to be called a Love Life? If so, all I can say? Epic fail... Never got worse... Wish I could shout "Bachelor Forever!"...

But then, life's life, gotta keep going...