Narratives. It has been a bit of a focal point for me recently. Its significance, its influences, what its manifestation is like in my life of late...
There are quite a few to write of given the past week or so, so for this post I thought I'd break it down to individual stories and commentaries.
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Weddings and marriages, left and right
Had I never left Malaysia, I would have and would be attending at least 4 different weddings by the end of 2019.
Friends are settling down, peers that were once clueless about the future are now certain they want to settle down with someone for life...
I admit, I've a tinge of envy about them. Yet for the most part, I am glad for them. In a way, I feel a certain comfort in knowing that there are people out there, friends of mine to be exact, that were able to find it in themselves to settle down. That gives me hope for my own.
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Drummer with an identity crisis
A Japanese drummer, raised in Malaysia, studied in the US and found his calling there... Only to be confronted with the end of his OPT nearing. Without a Visa renewal, his only choice might be to return to Japan.
I just described a friend I knew from my ICOM days. We weren't close, but he recently opened-up on facebook in a rather candid manner regarding his anxieties and fears, quite unexpected given his usually stoic and bold character, which I admired to a degree. You can imagine the predicament, given how he's not spent much time in Japan, yet that is suppose to be his home country.
I suppose it resonated with me in that moment when I read his writings, to realise that even the best of us (and I definitely saw him as a man of many great talents) have hidden troubles.
May he achieve his hopes and dreams, and failing that, find the courage to accept what's ahead of him.
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Estranged lovers
They were sweet, sweet while they lasted. I think it was close to 3 and a half years together? I was close to the guy, and I heard him pour his heart out some after the break-up, we shared our frustrations with each other, since I went through some of the same around the same time.
Recently though, she opened-up on facebook, shed a bit of light on her side of the story. Hints of mind games, emotional abuse, unsavoury things. Polite as she was about it, the added perspective is unsettling, especially being a friend of his.
That got me thinking... What of my own ex? What's her narrative about me now that we're apart? Should I be worried? I was fairly certain I didn't overstep boundaries... Yet that is only my perspective...
Sobering up to that possibility though, might be one of the reasons why I'm keener than ever to move on, to renew my perspectives...
May they find peace in each other eventually, as do I with my own ex.
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Twisted dreams and beautiful nightmares
In other news, odd as it is, I have recent recurring dreams about my ex. Once a week for the past 3 weeks or so. Some are more pleasant than others, but they all left me wanting and upset once I awake. All in all, not very enjoyable.
That makes me wonder though... Why?
Impatient as I am in wanting to move on, it seems like I think of her still. Alas, still some work left to be done.
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Death of a founder
I suppose the fitting end to a post that started with marriages is death (my little nod to Shakespeare, if you will).
Tom Shrader passed away on the 13th of January 2019. His legacy is one Redemption Church, along with the countless lives he had influenced during his time on earth.
Truth is I barely know the man, having never formally met him nor heard him preach since the time I arrived here. He was battling with cancer then, so who can fault him?
Yet the stories that poured in from people all around the state, even country, speaks of a man who served and sacrificed.
Inspiring, daunting... Will I ever reach those heights of generosity and good will? Perhaps one day.
For now, let me lament this passing, for even though I knew him only a little, I cannot ignore his works, and the testimonies of his people.
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