To think of it, I had no good reasons to call other than the fact that I am confused the past few days.
It didn't help that I watched Les Miserables, nope, and it didn't help that I read Shingeki No Kyojin. Those 2 worked like a catalyst to my feelings.
I admit, I felt guilty that I have feelings so soon. I thought maybe by calling you and implying to you how things have become might just allow me to attain catharsis, maybe you'd move on and won't respond with any emotional retaliation to my thoughts.
But I guess that was just wishful thinking. Knowing you, you won't offer said support, knowing you, you won't hold back lashing out to me. And I don't question why, it's only normal that you feel that way, after all I am the bigger traitor in this picture.
Nevertheless, there's a small part of me wishing that I hadn't let my tongue slipped. The thought that maybe you not knowing so soon or at all; whether it would be a better choice; still lingers in my mind.
So tell me if you will, given that I can't change what's happening, would you rather have not known this instead?