Analogy of the common man.

Down the road of the wealthy a peasant walks, scorned and sneered by is he. Had not he a workload bear, need his cup filled with sweat be, nor his food his blood splatters?

And the rich who dines in food of his bounty? Seeing his place in the lushness of Rosemary and Elder, of birds that flock and wealth that abound him, ignoring the starving, the poor, the homeless and the dying.

It takes a fool to wish to be king, and a foolish king to wish for wine and women, eventually the State of he collapses.

And had not the common man be left out in the lust of money, or the agony of poverty? Has he not the decision?

Why peasants stay poor? Why aristocrats remain blind? Why do the every-man lust? It is a foolish world; a mad world, to exist in social classes.

Democracy is dying.

Victim of conditions.

24th of October, we all knew it was Hong Leong's birthday, and yesterday we the bunch went to his place to celebrate. And happy yes we were, pleasant party and all. Siewei was generous enough to fetch us bunch to go there.

Decent place he has, good food, nice ambiance, a karaoke lounge and most importantly, friends to celebrate with.

And we ate and we sang, and we sang and we drank, and we sang and we ate, and we ate and we drank...

Until it was around 11pm, time to get home and going. All was well, pretty good, joking and laughing ourselves silly...

Then it happened... Cross junction in front of Hui Bao's shop. We turned left only to collide with a motorbike on our left side, which appeared out of no where, and we didn't even noticed!

The rider flew quite a distance, it was a lady, we were all in shock... We quickly went down to inspect and help out the situation. Siewei was definitely shaken, eventually breaking down to tears in slight panic much later. I was also shaken (partly due to concern over Siewei's well being too, seeing her so shaken-up like that), although the accident itself wasn't at all severe. Just minor cuts and scratches on the bike-rider (although she herself was in a deep state of shock as well).

Waited for her parents' arrival to better handle the situation before heading back home... Good thing my house was walking distance from there, although eventually, it was JXun's mum to give a lift, thanks to you Auntie.

So if you're reading Siewei, I'll say stay strong. (Received news this morning that the motorbike was in the wrong.)

Regrets on ELS,

English Language Society, my apologies to you. I failed to pull off the society this year, a very inactive year.

Receiving the Certificate of Appreciation last week for my duties as President of the society, with that row of words written, "For excellent service & contribution", haunted me for the week past... Nowadays, certificates can tell lies.

But I have to admit, in reality I failed to properly plan out and carry productive activities for the society. Instead, I just played along with the status quo of every year, scrabble and spelling bee, albeit also rather unattractively.

Had I stepped-down earlier, maybe someone better could've taken the job. The decision to let the form 5s continue heading as the leading committee was one mistake, I agreed along all because I had hypocritical intentions, along with a mild lust for power. Maybe the form 4s could do a better job. That decision worked against me, as I find myself more and more occupied toward band activities, SPM pressures and the fact that I don't spend a lot of time thinking about ELS.

But what's done is done, and indeed I am looking to improve on this point on my part. All I hope is for a better ELS next year. Sorry ELS 2010, all the best next year.

Death lingers.

My neighbour's old faithful dog of the streets. It has been 3 years since knowing it. Up until now, it is taking its last breaths, shivering, hungry, dying alone at this very moment I write.

I can't do anything, nothing much, for it isn't my dog. My neighbour has been travelling a lot lately, and his house pets are left to the care of his children during his absence. Yeah, it was about 3 weeks ago, things got worse. Neglected this dog was by his children, under-fed, mild sickness took over it.

My family tried to ease its hunger, fed him some bones and meats every now and then. But it will usually refuse, faithfully waiting for the master's return.

That day didn't came, and the dog is now lying down sick, cold and hungry. Salivating non-stop, flies starting to abound it, the sign of death too close to it.

Painful is that sight, pain is in my heart, if only I could do more, if only I could save it, if not save, least be its pain lessened. Sadness filled me, but I do not cry, I can't seem to cry, so I had to write it out.

Well, death is painful, it happens, I only hope it comes quickly, lest the dog's pain end soon.

Diminished thoughts.

There was this time in my life where everything went pass smoothly, year end, when school ends in the middle of November. Not this year for obvious reasons.

Studying on and off now, thinking to myself occasionally that it is sufficient and yet all the same lacking. Right now, I am so clueless to my wants and needs, all the same I can fill this void with a little cheer, come band to practice, whack up some zombies on screen...

YET, my mum will come into the picture, start lecturing, pushing, pressing me to open the book more often... I know, it's for the greater good, but for so many years past, this time of the year is my relaxation peak, now I am not prepared mentally to take this task.

Damn National Service, without you, many more of my burdens will be lifted.

Random fact: In the past, I always referred my hometown as KL. I will rectify that notion now, for in actuality, my hometown is really Subang Jaya. I just always mentioned KL because I always considered the central region as a whole, and even if I mentioned Subang Jaya, I doubt anyone here will know where exactly is it. But from henceforth, I will refer back to my place as Subang Jaya, since I am going back anyway.

Going back to primary times.

I'm shifting back to Subang Jaya next year, and among the first moves, it'd be my sister.

My younger sister is transferring to my old school - Lick Hung, out of the many other schools available, much to my surprise towards the decision by the education department there. Back in Subang Jaya, the school of which I grew up with from standard 1 to 4. I never fail to recall all the darker times back there, my constant sloth, pressure by teachers and constant homework overload, daily canning by my teachers, never-ending competition of the grades between some students...

I don't know how prepared she is to face all that. Well actually, she's facing that already right here right now. But I fear it might be worse.

Then again, the good times back there existed. I do have friends yes, but with much regrets now, indeed I fail to know them fully, and despite recently contacting up with many of my old-time classmates, I fail to remember many of them. Given the opportunity, I will definitely want to try and know them more.

Then comes my sister, as much I know the culture in the mid-zone of Malaysia, it should be quite a huge rat-race, I truly hope she can fit in, and not alienate herself.

Cheers to my sister, she is transferring this Friday, All the best to her.

Fingerprints.

Alas! Boredom. Out of it, men made many things that were initially useless, but over the decades, became the greatest inventions and discoveries.

And so, I made this:

Nan Hwa Band @ 2010 Wallpaper

But I don't intend to mean this is anything great, just wanna share.

Then again, it is sort of like the fingerprints we left throughout the whole year of 2010.

Well, band had always been a very big part of my life, so indeed, it is hard to get out of me even at this point.

So, might as well embrace the creativity it brings. :)

Only The Beginning.

In hours of dusk; the golden thread the horizon reveals.

Day of the Child up in the sky; upon a land barren and wasted he stares down.

Life of the Air covering the land; his limbs shredded and leaves shaken.

Shadow of the Earth; mind set unto greed and sin the foundations devoured.

Hath not the Earth's green be, O' ones who proclaim intelligence?

Hath not ye of mind and matter, allow yonder lives perish away?

Hath not ye of compassion an mercy, begotten brethren and forsaken families?

Of twisted abominations and crisis of the World, it all is only the beginning.

What's in a day?

Waking up this morning felt different, I finally snapped back into reality. The urge to study has finally overwhelm me, after 10 years in schooling life, this is my 1st time feeling so keen on knowledge.

Going to school, eyes wide open, not falling back to sleep... I suddenly feel prepared for my first and final encounter with SPM, 49 days away from me.

Looking back 10 years past, I see that lazy incompetent me become what I am today, call me vain, but I can't help but feel rather satisfied with where I stand today.

I know flaws still abound me, but life is a polishing process. I seek knowledge, but I too hope in humility.

Sitiawan, my abode for 5 years, and my home for years to come. Learning, growing and living here feels nothing like what I lived before coming to this humble little town. Sadly, I leave for Selangor next year, and I seek to finish off my final days in glory.

Peace be with us, hopes aplenty.

Final days sitting on the fence.

Months of August and September passed with no more than 4 updates from me. My target to write constantly was broken last two months.

Moving forward, while looking back, 5 years. 5 YEARS. Although short considering the human lifespan being around 75-85, yet if you think in this way, 356 days are a heck load of time to get pass. Or so I thought...

Again I cannot help but emphasize on the fact time just is and will always be too fast. 5 Years in secondary school is just too little time in the limelight. The immense experience, friends, joys and tears, in this short of 5 years, now reaching its climax.

I sit on the fence during this few final days, not knowing where I want to stand, that illusive image of having a music career is running away further and further. Should I actually go for performance or technical? It's so puzzling for me now.

Not just that, I'm also in a great state of confusion. A moment I see the glass as half full, then the next I see it as half empty. My want for study is always on a swing, coming back with full force only to go away yet again.

Final days, sitting on this fence looking around me for decisions. We all will face this dilemma eventually, and right after SPM, things will only get worse.

And the day I say goodbye to Nan Hwa will soon come.